Drum Roll Please

The numbers are in! I woke up earlier than normal and couldn't fall back asleep because I was so anxious to finally weigh in! Phil was up getting ready for work so we pulled out the scale and got to find out together.

My starting weight was 146 and this morning I weighed in at 138! That's 8 pounds lost for me!

Phil started at 210 and this morning he weighed in at an astounding 194!!!! That's 16 pounds lost!!!

This is only one month of food choices people. One Month!! This is basically without working out too.

Was it easy? No. Was it worth it? Yes.

You have to live with the choices you make. So it's up to you....

6 weeks post partum                                                                            14 months post partum

These two pictures are a little over a year apart. I lost weight in that year. I also gained weight back that I lost.

Hard work pays off. We all know that, but when it comes to living it out we often choose what we want in the moment.

You will have to live with what you chose to eat last night. You will have to live with the choice to rest and not exercise.

Sometimes it's worth it! Sometimes the cake to celebrate something is worth it and if you can go forward without beating yourself up about it, then eat that cake or sit on the couch and rest! But if you're constantly unhappy with your choices and unhappy with what you see in the mirror, just remember that nothing will change unless you choose to make a change.

...and if you do, you will get to live with the positive choices you make.

P.S. Just to show you that I'm far from the semi flat stomach in the pictures, this is what it looks like when I bend over.

That stomach is worth every sag and wrinkle.

DAY 30!

Wow, 30 days.

I completed what I set out to do, so what now?

I basically have 3 options. I can either continue eating Whole 30 and hopefully continue to lose weight at the same rate. (At least, I assume I'm loosing weight. I don't weigh myself till tomorrow) I can continue to eat mostly Whole 30 but allow treats and cheats here and there, and probably still lose weight but not as rapidly. Or I can go back to eating terrible like before and either plateau in my weight or gain back some.

Well I can't really continue to eat 100% Whole 30 because we actually have plans this week to go on a date specifically to eat stuff we weren't able to have.

So I guess that answers my question! I like the idea of continuing to eat Whole 30 while at home and only go off when I'm out.

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Tonight we are having some family over for a little celebration for my brother's new job and his girlfriend is bringing cake. I went back and forth about whether or not I should have some.

My first thought was that it would be a great way to break the diet, at the end of day 30 with my family.

Then I realized that the most likely scenario is that after eating it I would probably say, "That wasn't worth it." My palate for junk food has completely changed since cutting out all sugar.

It is such a powerful experience making the choice to eat only healthy foods and seeing so many changes in my body, and after only 30 days! It's very empowering!

I've struggled with the way my body looks after having kids, but doing this made me realizing that I have the ability to change myself.

Now let me say that I in no way intend to ever have my pre-baby body back. My stomach will never be as flat and the stretch marks will never go away. To wish for my old body back would be to wish I didn't have my kids, and I would never ever do that.

But the journey to accepting my body the way it is now has been a process and I get closer to fully accepting it every day.

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EDIT

It's the end of the day and let me tell you, I was SOOOOOO close to eating some of that cake, for one reason.....

It was ice cream cake.

She also made spaghetti and garlic bread for dinner, which I didn't have any of. For some reason I got bloated and gassy after eating my salad and fruit for dinner. Honestly I have no idea why. Phil said maybe I accidentally took a bite of something while feeding the kids their dinner?

Anyway, that made it easy to say no to the Ice Cream cake because I knew that wouldn't help the way I felt.

Day 30 COMPLETE!!!

Day 29: Letting Go

As Phil and I laid in bed after a long tiring day, I marveled that we only had one day left.

I also revealed to Phil my true feelings about being done with the Whole 30.

I'm not ready. 

I'm not ready for the "real world," where my food choices aren't pre-determined.

I know this is so weird, but I almost feel nostalgic about the whole month. This is mostly because I realize that no matter what I choose to do from here, I know that Phil is done with the Whole 30 and will probably never do it again.

I loved this experience with him. I loved knowing I wasn't alone in it.

There were ups and downs but through it all we did it together, and we are finishing together.

Day 28: Best Meal Award!

This was by far the best meal I made during the last month.

Coconut curry shrimp over cauliflower rice with grilled green peppers and sweet onions

This will definitely be one of our meal staples in the future. Phil and I both love curry and you can basically use it with almost any meat. I've been having so much chicken lately so I decided to BBQ shrimp and then put the sauce over everything.

Cauliflower rice was something I've been wanting to try the whole month but I just never got around to it. I finally did and now I'm wishing I had done it sooner!! I like rice normally but it's not one of my favorite things to eat so i'm not too picky about it, so this alternative is perfect for me. I thought it was just as good as rice, and much healthier. A great way to get a serving of vegetables without really tasting like it, especially when you have the sauce on it.

My Mom and I made quite the smorgasbord of food. We're getting close to the end of BBQ season so she decided to make some burgers and chicken while she was making the shrimp too.

And of course fruit salad for dessert!

Day 28: Best Meal Award!

This was by far the best meal I made during the last month.

Coconut curry shrimp over cauliflower rice with grilled green peppers and sweet onions

This will definitely be one of our meal staples in the future. Phil and I both love curry and you can basically use it with almost any meat. I've been having so much chicken lately so I decided to BBQ shrimp and then put the sauce over everything.

Cauliflower rice was something I've been wanting to try the whole month but I just never got around to it. I finally did and now I'm wishing I had done it sooner!! I like rice normally but it's not one of my favorite things to eat so i'm not too picky about it, so this alternative is perfect for me. I thought it was just as good as rice, and much healthier. A great way to get a serving of vegetables without really tasting like it, especially when you have the sauce on it.

My Mom and I made quite the smorgasbord of food. We're getting close to the end of BBQ season so she decided to make some burgers and chicken while she was making the shrimp too.

And of course fruit salad for dessert!

Day 27: Building Muscle

I want Pizza. So very badly.

Tonight we were out doing stuff through the evening and we didn't really have dinner. I had scrambled eggs around 4 and then we were out and about. I knew we would be going to the grocery store at some point in the evening so I figured we'd get something to have for dinner.

Well we didn't get home till 8:45 and when we got home and put all the groceries away, I looked in the fridge and thought, "There's nothing to eat." *facepalm*

That's one of the hardest parts of this diet. Healthy food is not fast. 

Basically any food that you eat takes some amount of prep, unless you literally just want to eat straight fruit or veggies. I was so hungry standing there at the fridge and I just had this overwhelming desire for pizza.

The kind that fills you up with a few bites but you continue to eat 4 pieces.

So I settled on guacamole with tuna. It's actually very good and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that if I had chosen pizza I would feel terrible right now, mentally and physically.

This is one of the many reasons I wanted to do this. Self control is like a muscle; the more you use it the stronger it gets and the easier it is to do hard stuff.

Day 26: The Wedding

I am a very non-confrontational person. I hate "rocking the boat." I hate making a scene.

For those reasons, this diet becomes hard in a setting like a wedding. I don't want to have to ask for special food. I don't want to be seen not eating something and looking rude. I just want to blend in with the crowd and not be noticed.

That's not always possible when you're trying to eat this strictly.

One of the things that I've been thinking about throughout this is that people who have severe food allergies have to live like this all the time. They have to be constantly aware about every single thing they put in their mouth, and it can literally be a matter of life or death.

Even regular restaurants are now more accustomed to getting special orders because of the rate of food allergies, so really it's not as big of a deal as I make it.

We all have the right to know what is in the food that we are being served and to be honest, we should want to know. So I'm working on trying to care less about what other people think. Even if I rock the boat or make a scene, it's worth it.

In the end the wedding was fantastic. They had a fruit and veggie platter at the cocktail hour and then for dinner it was basically your choice of grilled chicken with white sauce, red sauce, or a vegetarian ravioli. Phil and I both asked for chicken with no sauce and that was that. No scene. No worries.

It came with Asparagus which didn't have anything on it because the sauce that went on the chicken would have also gone on the asparagus.

Then.......there were mashed potatoes.

I really went back and forth about it, because deep down in the depths of my heart I knew that it had butter in it. I guess I just plead ignorance and since I didn't know for sure, I made the decision to eat it and enjoy every bite. So that's what I did, and I don't regret it.

Now, technically I am supposed to start the 30 days over if I cheat. My rational is that I didn't actually do this diet to test my bodies sensitivities to certain foods which is sort of the main purpose of the Whole 30. If I truly was curious about my bodies reaction to dairy, I wouldn't have cheated.

And truth be told, I got super bloated after that meal! My guess is that since I've had no dairy my body is hyper sensitive and I probably did react slightly to it.

It was a wonderful wedding, and the food was fantastic. They had cupcakes literally on the tables right in front of my face. I wanted one for like 1 minute, and then I moved on and didn't think about them the rest of the night.

I survived a wedding on the Whole 30. I should get a sticker or something for that. :-P

Day 25: The Grocery Bill

Today I ate the bare minimum amount of calories I needed to get by. I basically just ate a little snack anytime I got super duper hungry, which wasn't very often.

This would not fly on a day that I was doing any major exercise but on days like today where I was just home and doing random stuff around the house, I think it's ok. Especially since I'm still trying to lose as much weight as possible.

Oh and we're super low on food in the house. Or I should say we are super low on Whole 30 compliant food in the house.

That reminds me of something I wanted to talk about: our grocery bill.

We haven't calculated it out specifically but we are guessing that at this point, our monthly grocery costs have tripled. *cringe*

That's a little painful to swallow, especially since we don't even buy mostly organic. I guess eating super healthy is a lot more expensive, which just really sucks cause it makes it harder to do!

____________________________________________

We have a wedding tomorrow so that should be interesting to see what we do for dinner there. I'm not going to stress about it though. I'll probably put some Larabars and cut up fruit in my purse and just eat whatever meat they serve.

I can't believe we only have 5 days left!!

Day 24: Changes

We are over 75% done, and honestly I am amazed at how different I look already. The other day I put on a pair of jeans that I haven't worn since before I got pregnant with Abigail, and they fit! Another non-scale victory!

Now that I'm over my cravings hump of last week, I must say that there is really a feeling of overall satisfaction each day. When I feel hungry it's almost oddly satisfying because I know that all my choices are leading me to feeling even more positive about my body.

Both Phil and I have agreed that we haven't seen a ton of change in our overall health. His allergies have actually been a little worse since we started and he says his energy is much more correlated to how well he sleeps vs his food.

I feel better overall and don't get bloated like I used to but besides that there haven't been crazy things that I could say have changed.

For us it has been so much more about the mental side of it and just learning about ourselves and learning about our relationship with food. Why we eat what we do and learning to appreciate good food, and savoring the times when we treat ourselves.

When Phil was in San Francisco he would say to himself, "So if I wasn't on the Whole 30 I would skip the scones and donuts at the coffee shop in the morning because I know there will be dessert at the dinner tonight, and when I eat that I will savor it."

Another really good thing it has taught me is that I shouldn't waste calories on foods that aren't good for me that I don't absolutely love. For example, Spaghetti. I don't hate it but I don't particularly love it. White noodles have basically no nutritional value and in the grand scheme are basically junk calories, but I realized while on this that moving forward I shouldn't waste my calories on meals like spaghetti that I don't love.

There are ways to make it healthier but even then I don't really enjoy it all that much so Phil and I have decided to cut out most pasta from our dinners at home. This isn't to say I will never eat spaghetti or pasta ever again. If I go to someone's house and that's what's for dinner I will gladly eat it! It just doesn't make sense to make it a staple in our dinners at home.

Moving forward from this experience we will be making a lot of changes to how we eat at home, but allow ourselves to eat non-Whole 30 compliant foods when we are out of the house. That way we have a good base of healthy eating in general but still allow for "treats and cheats" so we don't burn ourselves out eating "too healthy."

Dinner tonight at my Mom's:

Good Ol Grilled Chicken and Fruit! 

Day 21-23: Upward and Onward

Wow I have been really slacking on Blogging lately.

Days 21-23 were slightly better and I feel like i'm out of the negative slump that I had for basically all of week 3. My hubby is back and that has helped tremendously! He did so amazing while he was gone on his trip and stayed about 95% compliant.

I'm back to not craving much which makes such a huge difference. I hate having to think about food all day and week three was just so stressful that it made me crave junk food. I think that time helped open my eyes a lot to how i interact with food and how it relates to my emotions.

This may be the first period I've had where I couldn't stuff my face with chocolate!

My appetite is literally the opposite of what it was before I did this. I have always been a breakfast person and would wake up ready to eat. Now I wake up and don't really feel like eating a lot of mornings and don't even really feel hungry.

Even throughout the day I am surprised at how little I actually feel hungry. I'm sure this has to do with my stomach shrinking from how much less I eat now.

I haven't been documenting my meals as much lately but here is my breakfast from yesterday:

Scrambled eggs, cherry tomatoes from the garden, and sweet potato hash

Day 20: Dragging

You know when you have a really long hard day and you curl up on the couch, shoving spoonfuls of......watermelon in your face? Oh....wait. No that's just me.

If I wasn't doing this diet right now, I would for sure gain several pounds just from what I would have ate through this weekend.

I expected it to be rough, and it was rough. Apparently I don't do well without my better half.

Today Aunt Flow showed her face for the first time since having Judah. It kind of turned out in my favor since I had almost no appetite all day, which helped as I was feeding both my kids a muffin, a bagel, and pepperoni pizza. Three of my top food weaknesses.

The day draggggggggggeddddddd on.

I decided to make a full dinner just to pass time, and it ended up being super yummy.

Scrambled eggs with Chorizo and breakfast potatoes 

Day 19: Blah

As I am getting semi close to the end of the 30 days I am starting to think about life after the Whole 30.

To be honest, I'm kind of scared.

I have learned in the past from doing things similar to this diet that I do really well with very strict guidelines, which is why I have been successful thus far on this journey.

But I have a habit of going from one extreme to the other.

It's very common for people who go to this extreme with their diet to get burnt out and then when they're done, they binge on junk because they deprived themselves so much.

I am so scared that is going to happen to me, especially because it has happened to me in the past.

It's weird because there were a lot of days in the beginning when I was feeling more positive about the process that I actually would just continue it past the 30 days. Especially if I am not back down to my goal weight because I want to basically be actively trying until I get back to that weight. (Which is my pre-pregnancy weight before Judah)

My only solution would be to come up with a sort of new set of guidelines once the 30 days is up. For example, allow myself very specific "cheats" either on specific days or a certain amount per week. That way I still have the strictness to keep me on track so I don't just completely binge.

I will figure out what I want to do but whatever it is, it will be specific and I will write it on here and on paper so that I know I will stick to it.

_______________________________________

Today was another semi-stressful day alone with the kids so I struggled again with cravings and wanting foods I can't have, but I managed to stay on track.

Day 18: Mission Accomplished

Today begins day 1 of 4 without my built in accountability partner.

Alone with two kids will produce even more stress, which I've discovered the last few days is the trigger for me to have crazy food cravings.

But Phil agreed to do his absolute best to stay Whole 30 compliant the whole time he's gone which I know is going to be very hard, so I have no excuses to cheat.

He's in a wedding and will be going to the bachelor party and rehearsal dinner, all times where you typically indulge. It sort of worked out that he can't drink though because they needed a sober driver anyway, and he will save a lot of money that way.

He brought his long board with him so that he could get to a grocery store in the area and get fruits and veggies to eat all weekend, since he won't have a car.

I am so proud of how far he has come during this journey.

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With the last few days being harder, I was due for a little food pick me up and today I finally got that!

I went back to Whole Foods to give the bacon mission another try. When I got there and saw this I literally wanted to do a cartwheel right there in the isle!

Note the top right corner!! 

Then I was equally excited to find these, and couldn't wait to put it all together.

You can either eat raw, boil, or pan fry the squash noodles so I decided to pan fry since I was already cooking the bacon in the pan.

Of course I pan fried the squash in the leftover bacon fat.

And Whahlah! The bacon was every bit as incredible as I expected it to be. I would have liked the squash a tiny bit more cooked but overall it was really good and definitely satisfied my craving for spaghetti.

Bacon mission: Successful

Finishing off the night with an Apple Cranberry LaCroix.

Day 16 &17: Intentions

Here is where the rubber meets the road. Where my true intentions either shine through or fade away from days where stress is at an all time high.

The first two weeks were so great, but it's easy to do great when things are great! Then Judah started cutting two teeth at once, and all I wanted was all the foods I can't have.

I've heard people say that they are "emotional eaters" and I guess after seeing how different the last 3 days have been from the first two weeks, I admit I probably am one.

Before doing the Whole 30, when I would have a really rough Mom day, I would pack the kids in the car and head straight to the nearest drive through Caribou and get one of their largest White Chocolate Mochas, heaped with whipped cream and mini white chocolate chips from heaven.

(In case you were curious, that's 740 calories and 85 grams of sugar. In one drink. Is that not disturbing?!)

I'm not gonna lie; I've been fantasizing about food. Carbs and sugar. I want it all. I want to drown my stress is a pile of pizza and donuts.

At the end of the day, this is why I chose to do this. My reasons weren't to get rid of health issues or see if I'm allergic or sensitive to different foods. I want to be aware of the food I put in my body, and even if in the future I do go get a large mocha because I'm stressed, I want to be aware that drinking it won't make my problems go away.

I want to have a healthy relationship with food. I don't want to have to overeat because I'm sad, and then feel even worse after, regretting my choice.

This process is teaching me a lot and that was the goal.

It still sucks, and I still want pizza.

Day 15: Cravings

Today is the first day, of all 15 days, that I have really struggled with cravings.

Thinking about food I cannot have for much longer that I should have. I'm not sure if there was anything specific that sparked it.

Up until today I was actually really considering staying on the Whole 30 for even longer than 30 days, or at least eating 90% Whole 30 and treats every once in a while.

Then today hit and I was fantasizing about food like it was a long lost lover. (I mean really, it is)

I'm hoping this doesn't become a pattern and that tomorrow goes back to what my norm has been.

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One of our favorite foods the last few days has been soft boiled eggs with hot sauce.

Yum

Confession Time

I'm going to take some time to write about something I've been avoiding.

It's something I wish I didn't have to admit because I really wish it weren't true.


Not everyone has as lovely an experience as I have while on the Whole 30. 


I don't want someone to read this blog and think that doing something like this is always gonna be rainbows and butterflies. I have written my true feelings and experience on here, but I must say that Phil's experience has been the polar opposite.

It all came to a head on day 11 when he went an entire evening complaining and being extremely crabby and rude. When we got home that night I said to him, "You have two options. Either you stop doing the Whole 30 right now, or you change your attitude and find your own willpower to do this without being a complete downer."

The first 11 days he would "joke" about how terrible it was and although he was sort of joking, he was also sort of not and it made me feel guilty since I was the one who got him to do this.

 He didn't feel great, his allergies were worse than usual, he was more tired than usual, and he wasn't enjoying the food as much as me.  (Mind you, these are all very normal things for the first two weeks. My experience has just been out of the norm)

After that night, he made a choice to have a better attitude. He made a choice to get more sleep so he wasn't as tired. He made a choice to do this with me and not for me.

I've seen a huge change in him and that is partly why the weekend was so amazing, being able to continue to enjoy this experience with him.

Day 13 & 14: A Non-scale Victory

It's official, we've made it halfway!!

What a fantastic weekend. Quality family time and some good hearty meals.

Yesterday Phil and I had a much needed date night which is always tricky since the usual date nights include forbidden foods. We went to Chipotle since we already knew exactly what we could have there.

Then Phil surprised me by finding a place that makes 100% fruit smoothies. Now, technically they don't violate the Whole30 regulations. They don't suggest you 'drink your calories,' but it's still allowed.

I did feel like I was somewhat cheating because of the concentration of sugar (even natural sugar). But considering that I haven't had a granule of refined sugar the last two weeks, I allowed myself to enjoy it.

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Today was full of food that really satisfied me, in a way that wouldn't have been possible without the last two weeks.

This was my first time having almond butter during the last two weeks and it tasted incredible, considering my love for peanut butter. (Peanuts are the only nut not allowed, for very specific reasons)

For lunch Phil made something I have never had my whole life, and they were much better than I expected!

Sea Scallop

It's all about the seasoning

Eating 3 scallops isn't exactly filling so we added a salad to top us off.

Have you ever heard of a 'non-scale victory?' Well it's exactly what it sounds like. A victory on someone's health journey that has nothing to do with the number on the scale. Today I had an unexpected one.

We went to the mall to walk around and I wasn't really going to buy clothes but I realized lately that I need a few more church shirts. So I decided to try some on last minute.

Now in the past, especially after having kids, the experience of trying clothes on induced feelings of sadness. The sizes I thought would fit generally didn't and made me feel frumpy and fat.

I picked up the first shirt that I wanted to try and and thought, "There is no way this is going to fit. It's gonna be way too small."

I pulled it over my head and it was almost like magic.

I looked in the mirror and I smiled, because for the first time in a very long time I was pleased with what I saw.

Shirt after shirt, I expected the same frumpy look followed by that same sad feeling, but I would pull them on and marvel at the feelings that followed. Feelings of pride at all my hard work paying off the last two weeks.

Had to snap one, just so that I can remember this non-scale victory on day 14.

Day 12: Ready, Set, Run

I feel great today. I have lots of energy. I feel excited that I'm 3 days from halfway!

...and I made this goulash of sorts for lunch that turned out to be surprisingly good. 

Sauteed brussel sprouts and onions with fresh oregano and sage from the garden, with ground turkey. Oh and a little hand that is always reaching for my food. 

I got Abigail to eat brussel sprouts for the first time. I don't think she loved them, but she didn't hate them. Judah spit them out every time, but loved the ground turkey.

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Phil and I decided to go for a run tonight since we both decided to do a 10k (6 miles) at the end of October. I am still working my way back up to running longer distances so we just wanted to do a 5k (3 miles) tonight.

I knew it would be hard but.....woof. It was way harder than I thought. Meaning, I'm way more out of shape than I thought I was.

Now I do have to give myself credit because it could be that I've just been eating so many fewer calories that I didn't have as much gas to run off of. Regardless I have a lot of work to do before the 10k.

After our run we needed to get groceries and dinner so we went to Aldi. You know how people say that you shouldn't go grocery shopping while hungry? Well you REALLY shouldn't go grocery shopping hungry while on the Whole 30.

We settled on burgers and fries and boy was the a good decision.

I promise there is a burger under there, with yellow mustard and my new favorite thing Franks Red Hot Sauce. Lettuce instead of bun and tomato from our garden. 

Special sauce made by my brother. Ah-mazing.

After eating dinner, I was so exhausted I had to lay down or I felt like I would just fall over. Now to sit on the couch and watch the Olympics the rest of the night.

Day 11: Milk and Sugar

Something really cool about doing this is discovering things that I never would have learned if I didn't ever do it. If I was never forced to find healthier alternatives, I would go my whole life not knowing about some really awesome food that are out there that I may even like more than the same foods I'm used to eating.

Today I discovered a really amazing option for people who can't stand their coffee black. 

Coconut cream! What is that, you ask? 

Well, when you buy a can of full fat coconut milk and put it in the fridge, the creme separates from the liquid and rises to the top. When you open it, there is a layer of white coconut creme. 

I would compare the texture it to really thick greek yogurt. I added it to my coffee today and it cut the bitterness of the coffee and made it creamy and wonderful! I would say about One tablespoon is good enough for one cup of coffee. 

I'm personally ok with black coffee so I will probably just do this once in a while to change it up It's really nice to have a more 'natural' option for creme that doesn't have all the sugar in it like store bought creamers.

There are some almond milks out there that you could put in your coffee that are Whole 30 approved but they are extremely expensive and are generally only found at health food stores.

With one can of coconut milk I think you could use for over a weeks worth of coffee. I'm not sure how long it lasts in the fridge once you open the can but I scooped it into a zip lock to have it sealed as I use it.

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In the evening we went to my Mom's birthday dinner which I planned all myself, in order to make it Whole 30 compliant! Going out to eat is generally really hard so I told my Mom me and all my siblings would come over and make her dinner. We did a grilled steak salad topped with avocado slices and grape tomatoes and a home made cilantro lime dressing.

It was amazing, and I ate it so fast I never had a chance to take a picture of it.

Then they brought out the chocolate cake AND ice cream.

It looked very, very, VERY good. I did want some. If I wasn't on the Whole 30 I would have had some, and probably had too much.

But I was already slightly bloated after dinner and fairly full, so it felt fine to not eat extra sugar and calories that I didn't need and that likely would have made me feel even worse; physically and mentally.

Didn't have to beat myself up. Didn't dwell on it and enjoyed my time with family. 

Before and During

Yesterday something popped onto my facebook that I had posted one year ago. A link to a blog that I started when I was 4 months post partum after having Judah.

That was the beginning of my journey to getting fit and healthy when I felt completely devastated by what I saw in the mirror.

Seeing these pictures now makes me realize how far I have already come.

I thought that the pictures I took a month ago were my "before" pictures, but after remembering where I came from I realize that they're actually my "during" pictures!

If you think about it, every picture is a "during" picture because we're never really done. It's always a process. It's always a journey.

August 2015                                            August 2016

(The blog post from one year ago)

Day 10: Lies!

Another great day for the books! (or...the blog)

It was a hot, humid day so with our house only having two window units I decided to camp out at my Mom's air conditioned loft.

In the past, going to my Mom's was sometimes a source of problems when it came to food choices. She often would have treats and junk food that I would basically continue to eat. Her kitchen is open to the living room so you're basically in the same room as the kitchen the whole time you're there.

Now I go over there and don't have to feel bad or guilty at all! My Mom also has a lot of fruit every time I go so I have plenty of options for when I choose to say no to the junk. Then I get to fully enjoy my time there!

Yesterday I learned something that makes me feel a little jaded, like I've been lied to my whole life.

I went to a Whole Foods grocery store that they just built in St. Paul and wanted to get something that was a "treat" but still within the diet. I settled on Bacon! They don't suggest you eat it every day but it's technically allowed as long as there are none of the forbidden preservatives or added sugar.

Little did I know that is very hard to find! I figured of all places, Whole Foods would have some. So I go in and low and behold there was a very expensive package of bacon with ZERO additives. I bring it to my Mom's, all excited to eat my treat.

I put it in the oven, which is my favorite way to make bacon. As it's cooking I keep peeking at it through the glass.

After a while I realized that it just looks different than any other bacon I've ever made. I attributed that to it being more 'all natural' than other bacon I've gotten. Every time I looked at it I just couldn't tell if it was done or not due to the difference in color. It never got wavy like other bacon.

Finally I just took it out, still excited to taste it with the eggs I had made with it.

I put it in my mouth......then......nothing. It was like eating beef jerky with absolutely no taste. Bland nothingness. What a disappointment!! I assumed I had overcooked it and that was why.

My Mom came home and tried it and made the point that it wasn't 'cured,' and then when I thought about that I kind of realized that what I had bought was plain uncured pork. I went my whole life thinking that bacon tasted so good naturally, only to realize now that it's the curing process that really give it it's salty yummy flavor!!

You live and learn I guess.

My Mom was making Chicken Fettucine Alfredo for dinner which I could have none of, so I actually had to drive to the grocery store down the street to get ingredients to make my own separate dinner.

These are examples of why this diet can be a little bit of a pain. When you can't just eat whatever someone is making. So worth it though! My dinner was absolutely delicious and although the Alfredo looked extremely appetizing, I didn't feel deprived having to eat what I made instead

Steak and eggs with sauteed mushrooms, spinach, cherry tomatoes, and avocado. 

I did feel maybe a little more tired than usual yesterday but not exhausted by any means. I've been reading testimonials from others who have done Whole 30 and a lot of people say they don't actually start feeling more energy till week 3 or 4.

Day 9: Blegh

It finally happened, a bad day. Took 9 days to happen so I figure that's pretty good. 

Today was just one of those days that was begh from the start. Woke up tired and moody, stayed tired and moody. 

It is highly likely these things are more related to hormonal shifts since I still haven't had a visit from Aunt Flow since I stopped breastfeeding. I'm actually hoping this is all just PMS so I can know that it had nothing to do with doing the Whole 30. 

For lunch I made something very simple but it was surprisingly good! 

Lettuce taco with ground turkey and Franks Red Hot sauce

I had a small party to go to tonight so I told them I would be in charge of bringing the veggies, that way I knew there would be at least something I could eat.

Thankfully there was grilled chicken breast and a fruit salad so I was actually full after dinner!

Unfortunately after dinner I got super bloated for some reason. I have zero idea why since I ate things that I've been eating a lot this week. It was very uncomfortable especially since we were sitting outside and it was super super hot and humid.

I am very over this day and hoping tomorrow I feel better physically and mentally.

Day 8: Unsettled

Phil was very hesitant from the beginning about doing this diet. He felt like it was just a fad that everyone else was doing and well, he doesn't like to follow the crowd.

Yesterday he came to me with several articles where people essentially were bashing the Whole 30 and saying why it was all a crock and why it was actually bad for you. I won't go into detail about what their reasoning was, but after being defensive initially I realized it's not bad to question something.

So Phil and I went back and forth discussing the different aspects and opinions. In the end we decided it's still a good thing for us to do. I think even if the diet portion ended up being unsuccessful, there are still many positives to doing it. For example this diet is shaping and molding the way that I look at food, for the better.

Day 8 was pretty good, until dinner when i'm pretty sure I had some bad asparagus.

Alaskan Salmon, Kalamata Olives, Boiled Egg, Asparagus, Arugula/Spinach mix, with Homemade Dressing

It had been sitting in the fridge probably a little too long and after dinner I had intestinal cramps and bloating.

Other than that dinner was awesome. I used the home made Italian Balsamic Vinaigrette that I made the other day. (SUPER easy and super good. Will definitely be using that in the future)

One super weird thing is that Phil's allergies have been really bad since we started. I have no idea why that would be. We know he is allergic to dairy because when he has it he gets itchy eyes and stomach discomfort, but obviously he has not had a lick of dairy in 8 days. It's possible it's just something in the air, but we're not sure.

Another weird thing is that Abigail is back to complaining about having a stomach ache. I actually think it might be dairy because the first few days of the diet I didn't have any dairy in the house and then recently I bought some cheese just to give the kids and then she started complaining again.

Hopefully we find answers to both of these mysteries in the next few weeks.

Day 6 & 7: Weekend Recap

Our first weekend on the Whole 30 and we survived!

When I told my Mom I was doing this diet she said at one point, "You should wait until the summer is over! There's so much going on and you might want to wait till all the parties and events are over."

But honestly, that is why I needed to do it now! Otherwise I would have gone this whole month eating junk and feeling like junk. Then after a month or two I would be able to say, 'Well it's the holiday season so I should wait till that's over.'

On Saturday I had a baby shower and I am so glad that I am doing this diet despite having events and parties to go to. The experience of going to this party while on the Whole 30 couldn't have been more perfect.

Leading up to the party I knew there may not be much (or any) food that is compliant so I was prepared and put an apple and a Larabar into my purse. I ate other stuff before I left the house and had those as backup. When I got there, I was really able to focus on having a good time and socializing instead of what usually happens, which is agonizing over food choices.

There were two egg bakes that were loaded with cream and cheese, blueberry muffins, cupcakes, and thankfully a bowl of watermelon and blackberries. Bingo! So I filled my plate with watermelon and blackberries and called it good!

So many times at stuff like this I just drive myself crazy with food choices. "Should I eat this? It doesn't look too healthy. Yeah I'll just have a little bit." Then I eat it and my body craves more because that's the addictive power of processed foods. I would usually end up having too much and then the rest of the day beat myself up about how much junk I ended up having.

I still just do not crave bad food! Don't get me wrong, those cupcakes looked amazing and I'm sure they tasted wonderful, but since I knew from the beginning that they were off limits I didn't have to even sit and think about it. I knew I couldn't have them so I moved on and didn't dwell on having any.

Sunday was our church picnic which I thought could be kind of tricky but ironically in the end, I sat in the car for over an hour letting Judah nap and didn't even go over to where all the food was. Phil said there were plenty of fruit options and he was actually able to have one of the hamburger patties.

It was also our 6th wedding anniversary and normally we would have gone out to a huge dinner and stuffed our face with unhealthy foods, cause that's what you do when you're celebrating something right?! It felt very weird to NOT do that for once. We decided to just go to a movie instead. I will say that the smell of the popcorn was very enticing but again, my brain knew it wasn't even an option so it moved onto other thoughts quickly.

I definitely felt some mood swings and tiredness over the weekend but I know that my hormones are also all over the place trying to regulate after stopping breastfeeding so I'm not sure which to attribute it to.

Either way, we officially survived our first week!!

Day 5: Cravings

Today was probably the roughest of the days so far, but all things considered it wasn't actually that bad. I chose to stay out till 1am hanging out with my Mom and Sister so I woke up pretty tired, but I only had myself to blame. 

I didn't post anything yesterday but it was another really good day overall. It was the first day that I was able to go to the gym to work out and I had set in my mind that I would run a 5k (3.1 miles). Normally this wouldn't be too much of a struggle, but yesterday I was absolutely dragging. I thought I was close to being done and I looked down and had only gone 1.6 miles!! 

The problem is that I went at about 6 and hadn't eaten since lunch. I do that normally because I like to run on an empty stomach but my decrease in calories in general the last few days really effected me more than I expected it too. 

Home made taco seasoning 

Yesterday's lunch: Taco Salad

This lunch was absolutely delicious but with how much fat was in the meat, my stomach wasn't too happy about it. Needless to say, it "went right through me." 

When I got back from my run, Phil had grilled up a bunch of our meat so that we would have it already cooked for future meals. 

Now back to today. Like I said I was more tired today and the kids were behaving a little worse so it felt like my patience was just a little more thin than usual. But I didn't want to use the food thing as an excuse.

After I put my mind to having a good day, I did! For breakfast I was excited to have some breakfast sausage but again, it was really greasy so my stomach didn't like it as much. So I only had one piece. 

I took the kids out to run an errand and by some miracle they both behaved amazingly. My tiredness wore off after the morning and I have felt great ever since. 

Randomly our power went out in the late afternoon and we found out it wouldn't be back on for at least a few hours. We decided to go out for dinner which is always tricky on a diet like this, but lots of people have encountered this problem before us so we went to google and found out the best option was Chipotle. 

Phil and I both got the same thing which was a salad bowl with lettuce, pork (the only meat that didn't have added sugar), Salsa, onions, peppers, and lots of guacamole! It was FANTASTIC! And not just like "good for healthy food." It was just straight up good. I would totally get that exact thing not on this diet. 

I also made my own Italian vinaigrette to have for salads because there's really no restaurant that has Whole 30 compliant dressing. I wasn't sure if my Chipotle would need an extra something so I stuck it in my purse just in case. 

You know you're on the Whole 30 when....

Something I am absolutely amazed at is that I have Z-E-R-O cravings. Like, I don't crave treats in the slightest. Sugar is my weakness; specifically baked goods and chocolate, and I honestly and doing completely fine without it.

Now this may change of the next few weeks but I think right now I am so happy with how good and healthy I feel that my brain just doesn't want those things. I really thought I would struggle more with wanting the junk again but I don't! 

If someone were to ask me how hard this diet is on a scale of 1-10, 1 being the easiest thing I've ever done and 10 being nearly impossible, I would probably give it a 3 (So far).

Day 4: Story time

Time for a little story from roughly summer of 2013. Phil and I were on a walk around Lake Nokomis pushing little Abby in the stroller. When we lived in our old place, we would walk around the lake very often in the summers. Sometimes for exercise; sometimes just to get out of the house and spend time together.

This conversation with Phil sticks out so much in my memory that I can tell you the exact spot on the path that we were when it happened.

I was expressing to him the importance of health in my life, specifically the importance of consistent exercise. We were both unhealthy at that point and slightly overweight. It was a hard conversation, but I was trying to find a way to say that I wanted him to exercise more. I wanted him to find it important. I wanted him to make it a priority.

He basically told me he didn't have time to exercise, and that if he did it would take time directly away from spending time with Abigail and I.

I remember feeling sad. Sad that he didn't agree with me that health and exercise were important enough to prioritize. He didn't ever really have to exercise to lose weight, so to someone who was generally fit (until then) even without exercise it was hard for him to find the value. We were both approaching mid-20s where very slowly both of our metabolisms were slowing down, not to mention I had just had my first kid.

I never gave up on convincing him to find exercise important, and after a few years and life slowing down enough for him to actually have the time, he started coming around. It happened very slowly. It took persistence. It took him seeing me prioritize it and choose to get healthy after each baby.

____________________________________________________________________

And here we are today, with Phil training for a marathon. Ohh the irony.

One of my all time favorite experiences with Phil was running a 10k together. There was something really cool about both having the same goal, training for it together, working really hard to get there, and achieving it side by side. Literally hand in hand.

It means a lot to be able to do things like this diet with Phil, because at one point there was no way in the world I would have been able to convince him to do this.

And after the 30 days are over we get to cross the proverbial finish line with a trip to the State Fair, where we will enjoy our proverbial prize. Which will most likely include every single one of the foods you can't have on the Whole 30. :-D

The Ripple Effect

One thing that I have noticed when I do things like drastically change my diet is that my productivity is impacted....for the better!

You would think that because I'm eating less calories or "depriving" myself of certain foods that I would be tired and not get much done. I find the opposite is true.

I get energized and motivated! When I work hard to improve one area of my life, generally the other areas get better too! Like when I cleaned my kitchen so thoroughly yesterday and got a bunch of laundry done. While I did the dishes I listened to a sermon and "fed" my spirit.

Maybe that's why I felt so good on Day 3. My choice to take control of my eating habits has impacted almost every area of my life so far.

And this is why I wanted to do this diet. It's about so much more than just loosing weight or changing the way I look. This is the symbolic throwing of the stone into the water and seeing how the ripple effects everything else when I make wise choices.

Day 3: The Hangover?

Today is day 3 of my journey and everywhere that I've read online calls this day "The Hangover." On this day most people experience a lack of energy, headache, crabbiness, etc. (I've never had a true hangover so I don't know what it actually feels like.)

I definitely broke the mold! I felt better today than I have the last two days, but I think that has to do with a few factors. The kids both slept through the night and slept it till 8:30. I woke up feeling so refreshed and not groggy. I also decided to get out of my steamy hot house and spent the day at my Mom's air conditioned loft. Great choice!

So I wasn't hot like I had been all day yesterday. Another weird factor is that I oddly wasn't hungry today. When I woke up in the morning I fed the kids their oatmeal and just didn't feel any hunger pangs. I figured I should probably eat something anyway because I never ever skip breakfast. Phil had left two hard boiled eggs in the fridge so I had those.

Then I decided to water all our plants before I left for my Mom's and as I was watering the vegetable garden, I ate all the ripe cherry tomatoes as I stood there. So that was breakfast!

I didn't have any headache, bloating, gas, or irritability! This is shocking to me because I honestly did not eat good leading up to this 30 days and I expected to have some pretty noticeable junk food withdraws.

Disclaimer: I fully realize that not every day is gonna be this peachy! But as far as how my body feels after 3 full days of eating this way, I am pleasantly surprised!

Here was part of my lunch:

Cucumber (from my garden) and Avocado with salt

My Mom is a huge fruit eater so I know anytime I go over there she will have tons. Today she did not disappoint, and I feasted on all sorts of fruit. I had a nectarine that was so tart, sweet, and juicy; it was better than any dessert.

Which means my taste buds are already being retrained to enjoy the natural sweetness in food and not crave the artificial sweetness in junk foods.

I went to a grocery store called Mississippi Market which a Co-op. Aka where all the crunchy rich people go. Holy expensive batman! Here is what was in my cart:

Sunflower Seed Butter, Coconut milk, Chai tea, Mustard Powder, Cashews (in the paper bag), and not pictured is Larabars that I ate throughout the day. 

For dinner my Mom and I made grilled chicken breast on lettuce and I just used olive oil for dressing. I plan on making some of the Whole 30 dressings in the next few days to have on hand for salads.

All in all a successful day 3!

Day 2: Time for the Big Girl Panties

Day 2 is down and today, the heat really set in. Literally. It was really hot and we don't have AC. ;-)

I was essentially sweating all day because it takes so much longer to make these meals so I was in the kitchen a ton.

I woke up feeling much less positive that yesterday, which could have had to do with the fact that the kids didn't sleep that great. I woke up tired and when I walked into the kitchen and realized I couldn't just pour a bowl of cereal, I was not very motivated.

But I sucked it up (because really I have no choice unless I want to starve) and made scrambled eggs with onions, mushrooms, and tomatoes. It was pretty bland but staved off the hunger for a while.

I have felt really good overall today. Almost no bloating and gas. Another really awesome thing that I've noticed is actually how the kids have been responding to the change in food.

Last week Abigail started complaining of a stomach ache and I thought it would pass but it went on day after day. Her #2s were indicating that she in fact had something weird going on in her system. I felt bad because I knew we weren't eating healthy and that was probably what was causing it.

Since yesterday she has not complained of a stomach ache!! I'm also really proud of both of the kids for eating a lot of the stuff we have been making even though it's a little different. Abigail is not a huge veggie person but she has done so much better than I expected.

Dinner took forever and was meh.

Zukkini noodles with a home made tomato sauce, shrimp, and fresh basil

I realized today that this diet, if nothing else, will really help bring me out of my cooking box!

At the end of the day, my kitchen was literally a disaster. Food everywhere. Dishes everywhere. It was a little disheartening knowing that it would probably be like this at the end of most days this month. But I realized that the worst thing to possibly do is leave the mess for the morning because that would just start the next day off totally horrible.

So I pulled on my big girl panties and got to work, not only doing the dishes and cleaning the counters, but even mopping the floors! My kitchen is now sparkling clean and ready to be destroyed again tomorrow. :-D

Eggs for Days

Our first meal on the Whole 30!!

Eggs will most definitely be the biggest staple in our diet for the next 30 days because the possibilities are just endless! I have found that for myself, omelets are one of the best ways for me to get a significant amount of veggies all at once.

I could eat fruit all day long but veggies are my struggle.

Today Phil pulled up a specific recipe for a veggie omelet so that we could use some of the kale that we have an abundance of. It's literally overflowing one of our pots and lets be honest, the options for using kale are pretty limited.

This was our first time using kale in anything other than a smoothie where it's nearly unrecognizable. I was skeptical at first and a little scared, but I was pleasantly surprised!!

Kale, peppers, and herbs from our garden. Avocado from Aldi

We also have arugula lettuce in our garden which oddly has a peppery taste to it, which added the perfect little kick to the dish.

Phil sauteed the kale, peppers, an onion, and the herbs. We happened to be given some farm fresh eggs from Phil's Dad to make this omelet even more organic! We whisked the eggs and added them in, then scrambled.

Topped with tomatoes from our garden, and avocado slices.

Honestly this tasted like something you would get from a super ritzy restaurant. So good!

If you wanted to add some more protein to this dish you could easily add cubed chicken breast or even breakfast sausage!